50 Shades of Gray and Other Hair Colors: a 2020 Reflection

 

Along about June every older woman across America, except for Nancy Pelosi, was concerned about one question on social media: to gray or not to gray?

 

Several years ago, at my Aunt Ruth’s funeral, I overheard a man say to one of my cousins, “The women in your family are beautiful. None of them are gray.” To which Kent replied, “Oh, I think they figured out how to take care of that long ago,” which I thought an interesting observation for a single man concerning his relatives.

 

As a teacher, over the years, the topic of “when to go gray” was dealt with over lunch in the teachers’ lounge (not that teachers ever actually lounge). But, the subject was never resolved. Just when should baby booming grandmas embrace their stereotypical role and let nature have her way? “Not yet,” seemed to always be the conclusion.

 

Then, after 3 months of quarantine, this most irrelevant question came to the fore, as one cannot avoid her mirror indefinitely.

 

With hair salons closed (except for private violations), the question of gray rose to a pertinent level of concern. So, what could an isolation-crazed middle aged (or older) woman do, other than turn to a reliable source of information and advice? Facebook, of course.

 

Then, as now, Facebook provided the answers we desperately sought.

 

First, should she just go gray? The reasoning behind this question was not only that a woman could not visit her favorite salon (or any salon, for that matter), but also that the whole graying process would undoubtedly be complete by the time the interminable quarantine was over.

 

Second, if the concept of “going gray” was out of the question, should she attempt the process “at home,” to which there was a plethora of advice. Whether the outcome was successful or not really didn’t matter. For teachers, thank God, it was summer; and for those who worked at home on Zoom, well, the hair scarf possibly came back into style. What actually took place in individual homes we may never know.

 

So, now that 2020 is nearly over and the first responders are being vaccinated as I write, it will be interesting to see what we all look like when we emerge from our cocoons to once again venture out into the wide post-Covid world. I have to wonder how many grandmas will look the part. Only time will tell. But, as for me and my family—well, apparently, we learned how to deal with that long ago.

Clothes: Day 2

Colorado has failed me: It's supposed to snow tomorrow.

Clothes: Day 1

I really don't think clothes will be a problem for me. It might be for the poor souls who work with me by the time I wear the same pair of pants to school all week. The kids will be glad that Friday's a half day.

I'm not a clothes person, but I think I gave more thought to the 7 items I'll wear this week than I did on my 7 foods. And, speaking of food: EVERYTHING TASTED SO GOOD TODAY. There was a cheese log in the teachers' lounge that I had to force myself to not eat the whole thing. We did NOT have eggs for breakfast. I never thought oatmeal could taste so good, and Kari said she did not have oatmeal (she'd had it the last 7 days). The godly girls agreed, it was a wonderful day to eat. At 10:00 I emailed Jay and said, "There's a cheese log in the lounge" ...Why do they call that room a lounge?... oh, well... "There's a cheese log in the lounge, and it's going to be a good day." It's the little things. I need to remember it's the little things that I should find pleasure in.

But, back to clothes. Last week I lost 2 pounds (thanks to the peaches I didn't eat) and can fit into a dull green, nondescript pair of pants. I'd thought I'd rotate a skirt and pants every other day, but if I wear the pants all week, that will give me the option of 3 shirts instead of 2, which might make me look like I'm not throwing on the same old clothes everyday.

One has to think these things through. Saturday is the Valentines Dance, and I'm definitely not wearing the green pants there. My dress (1/7 of my wardrobe) is taken, but it's worth it. Shoes: tennis shoes. That makes 2.

3. dull green pants
4. red blouse
5. gray sweater with a hood (I'm banking on this unseasonably warm Colorado weather to hold out for the week.)
6. brown shirt
7. another shirt (I decided today to forgo the skirt for a different shirt.)

By the way, I am not dancing in tennis shoes. We were allowed 2 pair to count as one item.

It was interesting to see Nia without earrings on today. (I've never seen that before.) And actually, I can spend more time thinking about what jewelry to wear than the clothes I put on, so I should get ready faster this week, for which Jay will be grateful.

FYI: Undergarments do not count (or we would have little else on). The godly decided that pajamas counted as underwear. The real 7 woman slept in her clothes, but I would have just turned up the heat on the electric mattress pad and done without.

I think I have clothes under control--that is unless I gain 5 pounds in the next 2 days and can't zip the dull green pants.

Food: Day 7

Food week is nearly over. Food was probably a good area to start with. Truth be known, I spend a lot of time figuring out what we'll eat because we have a lot of choices. This week I spent a lot of time figuring out what we'd eat because I didn't have a lot of choices. It was no less work, really. We ate nearly 2 dozen eggs, twice as much bread as normal, but there's still a can of peaches sitting on the counter. I think it will be awhile before it gets opened. We tend to eat a lot of the same stuff week in week out during the school year, but maybe for awhile we'll be a little more grateful for it.

This week is clothes. Once I accepted the idea that I'll have to wear the same two outfits every other day this week, I decided who cares. It should make getting dressed in the mornings easier--though again, I tend to wear the same things over and over anyway--just not every other day.

Starting tomorrow we can go to 16 foods. We'll eat oatmeal for breakfast. I think I'll continue to pass on the chips for lunch, and maybe the candy bar I stuck in my desk drawer last week will taste ever so good. I hope so.

Food: Day 4

Jay has had it with 7. As we perused the Walmart isles tonight because I'd run out of salad and bread, he pitched stuff in the cart and stated, "I want 16. I think I'll write a book about 16." As I turned up my nose at the wilted lettuce he said, "Just buy it. If it goes bad, we'll toss it. You only have 3 more days." (That is definitely not a 7 attitude.)

Of course, it was I who had pondered on the way to the store if perhaps zucchini bread was bread.

But, there is more to ponder on the horizon. I need to have decided my 7 clothes for next week. The godly girls have an advantage. They can wear jeans all week; I can't. The Valentine dance is that Saturday, and that new dress is 1/7 of my allotment. Oh well, I have until 8th period tomorrow to sort it all out.

In the mean time, I have 2 vocabulary quizzes to make; there are canned peaches sitting on the counter, and Jay is starting his second bowl of Golden Grahams.

On the way home he did ask what was for dinner tomorrow. To which I responded, "chicken."

Food: Day 3

I've discovered that I've made a serious mistake on my selection of foods. The godly girls consulted their mothers when coming up with their foods. I should have done the same. Not finding the canned apricots at the, not one, but two, big box stores should have been a sign. There should have been a sign that said, "Do not substitute canned peaches for apricots. They are NOT the same thing."

There were good reasons for choosing a fruit in syrup, and, yes, it was the syrup. So, when I had to strike a food item to make way for for the flex item, I cut the rice. What sane person would do that? It does not matter how many peaches one eats in a day, they simply do not hold you over.

Jay says I'm already a 7 failure. I've spent more time obsessing about food in the last 3 days, than if I just ate everything in sight. I'm afraid he's right, but today I did not cheat. Today, when I confessed I'd eaten green beans, Cobi admitted she'd had a handful of gummy worms last night. The rest just stared at me. I think they'll keep me on the straight and narrow for the next four days.

How anyone could do this for a month is beyond me. And it has already been decided we're eating at the Roadhouse on Monday.

Though--when I turn up my nose at the peaches, it does remind me that the world is full of people who would LOVE to have a half cup of peaches twice a day.

Tonight's supper: Enchiladas WITHOUT the enchilada sauce, rice (today's flex), leftover chicken, and an egg. I can go to bed with a clear conscience. (Even the author of the book said tortillas were bread; that's a dictionary definition.)

Day 2

I cheated. I ate green beans for supper.